Song Zhaodi disapproved of her eldest sister’s way of educating children, so she smiled and said, “Dali, come over here.”
Dawa reached out and gave Dali a gentle tug.
Dali stumbled slightly but instinctively stood up.
Song Zhaodi waved at him.
Dawa gave Dali a push. “Go on.” He nudged Dali toward Song Zhaodi.
Song Zhaodi playfully pointed at Dawa before lowering her head to ask Dali, “Is it because your mother’s cooking is bad? If you’re afraid of getting scolded and don’t want to say it out loud, just nod.”
Song Dali glanced back at his mother, only to find Zhong Dawa blocking his view.
“Dali, say it,” Dawa urged. “If you say yes, I’ll give you a duck leg later.”
The young boy swallowed hard and nodded vigorously.
Seeing this, Song Zhaodi immediately turned to Song Laibao and said, “Dajie, the child ate a lot, and instead of asking why, you blamed him. I think you need to reflect on yourself.”
“Re-reflect on what?” Song Laibao was puzzled. “On my cooking skills?”
Song Zhaodi: “No. You shouldn’t have hit Dali.”
“I didn’t know he ate so much at your place because your cooking was good,” Song Laibao said without thinking.
Song Zhaodi: “Did you ask? You didn’t ask or even give Dali a chance to explain why he ate so much.”
“Auntie…” Song Dali tugged at Song Zhaodi’s sleeve.
Song Zhaodi smiled. “I’m not blaming your mother. Dawa, you all go upstairs for a nap. I need to have a chat with your aunt. If you hit kids too often, you’ll turn them into fools.”
“Let’s go, Dali.” Zili sensed his mother wasn’t just going to talk about this. Though he wasn’t sure what she would say, he stretched out a hand to Dali. “Let’s go read some storybooks.”
Dali hesitated. He was afraid his mother and aunt would argue.
Zhong Dawa grabbed Dali’s arm and exchanged a look with Zili. The two boys worked together to haul Dali away.
Song Zhaodi pulled over a stool and sat down. “Dajie, stop cleaning for a moment. Let’s talk.”
“You’re going to lecture me?” Song Laibao blurted out.
Song Zhaodi was momentarily speechless but reminded herself that her sister was simple and honest, simple and honest. “Of course not. You’re not my student. I just want to say that you shouldn’t hit the kids.
“Kids are still young and don’t always know right from wrong. When they make mistakes, we as parents should tell them it’s wrong and remind them not to do it again next time. That’s enough.”
“You think I want to hit them? If I don’t, they won’t remember,” Song Laibao retorted.
Song Zhaodi sighed. “Jie, let’s not talk about the past or the future, just today. Dali ate a lot. When faced with delicious food, can you resist eating?”
Song Laibao stayed silent.
Song Zhaodi continued, “If we as adults can’t resist, we have no right to blame children. What we can do is remind them while they’re eating: ‘Eating too much will make you uncomfortable, so don’t overeat.’ But you didn’t remind him.”
“I…I didn’t know he would eat so much,” Song Laibao muttered.
Song Zhaodi: “See? We’re back to the same issue. Dali is your son. You don’t know his usual appetite? If you don’t know, it means you’re not paying enough attention to him. If you, as a mother, aren’t doing your part, how can you expect the child to always obey you?”
“That’s because I’m busy,” Song Laibao blurted out.
Song Zhaodi chuckled. “You have two kids and three elders helping you watch them. I have five kids and take care of them myself. Who’s busier, you or me?”
Song Laibao had no response.
“Dajie, do our kids behave well?” Zhong Jianguo asked.
Liu Yang immediately replied, “Yes, they’re very well-behaved.”
“Then let me tell you something you might not believe, we’ve never hit them,” Zhong Jianguo said.
Liu Yang was surprised. “Not even when they make mistakes?”
Zhong Jianguo recounted how Dawa had gotten into a fight, and Song Zhaodi had placed a plate of braised pork in front of him as punishment. “A person’s weaknesses are like their Achilles’ heel. Once you find your child’s weakness, even if you loosen the reins, they won’t dare run too far.
“In our family, Zili and Gengsheng are naturally well-behaved. Dawa is mischievous, but he loves food, so he’s easy to manage. Erwa cares about appearances, if Zhaodi tells him, ‘Be good, and I’ll make you new clothes,’ he behaves even better than Zili and Gengsheng. Sanwa is a bit of a troublemaker, but his biggest fear is being left out by his older brothers.”
Liu Yang instinctively turned to Song Laibao. “What about Dali and Liugen? What are they afraid of?”
Song Laibao opened her mouth but realised she didn’t know.
Song Zhaodi sighed. “Dajie, I need to remind you of one more thing, your way of giving orders is also wrong.
“For example, when I ask Dawa to tend the fire, he might say, ‘Mom, I want to eat scrambled eggs.’ I’d reply, ‘If you tend the fire, I’ll make it for you.’ But if it were Dali, you’d say, ‘Eat, eat, eat! That’s all you ever think about! You just want food whenever I ask you to do something. You’re so greedy.’
“You nag so much, vent your frustrations, and annoy the child, but in the end, you still make the food for him. The child ends up getting the food not because his mom is kind, but because he endured a scolding for it.
“If a child believes their mother loves them and is willing to make good food for them, then when they make mistakes and see their mother angry, they’ll be afraid, not of being hit, but of losing that love and care.”
“I…I don’t nag that much, do I?” Song Laibao muttered, wondering how she got called out so precisely.
Song Zhaodi: “Hearing you makes my head hurt, so I remember it very clearly. Also, when you tell Dali to do his homework, don’t say, ‘Your parents work hard. If you don’t study now, you’ll end up just like us.’
“Kids don’t have the life experience to understand what you mean. No matter how much you say it, they won’t take it to heart. Instead, try saying, ‘Finish your homework properly, and I’ll buy you some meat tomorrow.’ Or ‘Memorise your lessons well, and you’ll grow up to be a military officer like Jianguo.’”
“Zhaodi is right,” Zhong Jianguo added. “Adults are more sensible than children because they’ve experienced more. If kids could understand as well as adults, they wouldn’t be kids.”
Song Laibao looked at Song Zhaodi, then at Zhong Jianguo. “I see now, you two planned this. You wanted to lecture me today.”
“Dajie, you’re overthinking it,” Zhong Jianguo said expressionlessly. “Zhaodi only talked so much in front of me because you hit Dali. If you hadn’t, I’d be too busy to find time to say all this to you.”
Liu Yang quickly stepped in to ease the situation. “Jianguo, don’t be mad. Your sister just likes to nag. Oh, isn’t it time for you to go to work?”
“Right, I’m off,” Zhong Jianguo said, getting up and leaving.
Song Laibao felt a bit embarrassed. “Zhaodi, I–”
“Before you start nagging in the future, take a few deep breaths first,” Song Zhaodi said. “Only my jiefu has the patience to tolerate you. If it were Jianguo, even if you didn’t get divorced, you’d argue at least three times a day.”
Song Laibao nodded. “I’ll try, I’ll try.”
“Change a little each day. As long as you have the intention, you can break the habit within a year.” Song Zhaodi got up to clear the dishes.
Seeing this, Liu Yang quickly stepped in to help the two sisters.
At around two in the afternoon, Song Zhaodi took Song Laibao and Liu Yang to visit Commander Liu’s family next door. Since it was the afternoon, Song Laibao didn’t bring up the bride price. After sitting for a while at the Liu house, she started feeling a little uneasy, so Song Zhaodi took the couple back home.
The next morning, on the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, Song Zhaodi decided to show Song Laibao firsthand how to get children to do chores.
Around seven o’clock, she put a pot of porridge on the stove and went upstairs to wake up Dawa.
Seeing Song Zhaodi and Dawa come downstairs, Song Laibao couldn’t help but say, “It’s cold. Let the child sleep a little longer.”
“He went to bed before ten last night. He’s had plenty of sleep,” Song Zhaodi replied. “Dawa, go light the fire. I’ll make breakfast.”
Zhong Dawa yawned. “Mom, I want stir-fried yam with garlic sprouts, scrambled eggs with scallions and lettuce with garlic.”
“If you light the fire, I’ll make them,” Song Zhaodi said.
Without even washing his face or brushing his teeth, Dawa turned and went straight to the kitchen. He wasn’t angry at all, he was actually quite happy.
Song Laibao whispered, “That’s a lot of dishes for breakfast.”
“We’re not making them,” Song Zhaodi said flatly.
Song Laibao widened her eyes. Isn’t the child going to get mad if you go back on your word?
“Just watch,” Song Zhaodi said, chopping a bowl of lettuce and washing it clean before taking it into the kitchen. “Dawa, we’re out of yam. We only have about ten duck eggs left, and I plan to use them for fried rice tonight. For breakfast, I’ll just stir-fry some lettuce. Is that okay?”
Zhong Dawa thought for a moment. “That’s fine. Mom, are we killing a duck today?”
“Two ducks,” Song Zhaodi said. “I keep my word. Don’t worry.”
Zhong Dawa beamed, resting his chin on one hand while stuffing firewood under the pot with the other.
Standing at the kitchen door, Song Laibao and Liu Yang exchanged glances.
Song Zhaodi noticed them out of the corner of her eye and smiled. Then she said, “Dawa, later you’ll have to pluck the ducks at home. You can’t run off to play. Your aunt and I are going to buy some yam for tomorrow’s breakfast.”
“Okay.” Dawa agreed without hesitation. “Mom, buy some pork bones and seaweed too.”
Song Zhaodi nodded. “Got it.”
After breakfast, Song Zhaodi and Song Laibao went out together.
At the door, Song Laibao said, “Your method only works for a few years. Once Jianguo gets promoted and your life gets better, the kids won’t lack food or drink. If you keep using this approach, they won’t listen to you anymore.”
“By the time we don’t lack anything, the kids will be grown,” Song Zhaodi said with a smile. “They won’t need me to teach them anymore. Besides, by then, if they don’t behave, someone else will step in to teach them. Just like how the people at the paper factory taught our second sister a lesson.”
Song Laibao had been about to point out flaws in Song Zhaodi’s parenting style, but she suddenly found herself at a loss for words.
“Dajie–” Song Zhaodi noticed Song Laibao had stopped walking and thought she was annoyed. But then she saw where her gaze was fixed and followed it, spotting a group of men entering the Liu family’s house. “The one in black pants and a white shirt is Liu Ping’s husband.”
Song Laibao snapped out of it, looking shocked. “That young man looks like a movie star. How did he end up with Liu Ping?”
“We’ll go to the Liu house to give the bride price after we get back from the grocery store,” Song Zhaodi said. “You can ask Aunt Liu, and I’ll listen in.”
As they walked, Song Laibao kept looking back. Seeing the men enter the house, she quickly caught up to Song Zhaodi. “That guy has a job and good looks. Even if he randomly picked someone, he could find a better match than Liu Ping.”
“Maybe he’s from a poor family and can’t afford a wife,” Song Zhaodi said.
Song Laibao scoffed. “Stop fooling me. With a face like that, plenty of young girls would be willing to marry him without a dowry.” She paused, leaned closer to Song Zhaodi, and asked, “Do you know something? Spill it.”
“I don’t know,” Song Zhaodi replied. “I asked Aunt Liu a few times, but every time I brought up Liu Ping and her fiancé, she just sighed and sighed. I got tired of asking. Anyway, she’s not my daughter.”
Song Laibao hesitated. “Should I ask or not?”
“Casually bring it up. If Aunt Liu wants to talk, she’ll follow your lead,” Song Zhaodi said. “If she doesn’t want to say anything, asking more won’t help.”
The grocery store was close to the residential compound, and the sisters arrived within minutes. Since the family had many members, Song Zhaodi decided to buy 20 pounds of yam.
Song Laibao was surprised. “That’s too much, Zhaodi.”
“It’ll save us a trip tomorrow.” Song Zhaodi had Song Laibao carry the yam while she took a basket to buy pork bones and seaweed.
Since Song Laibao was Liu Ping’s cousin-in-law, she and Liu Yang had to attend Liu Ping’s wedding. To avoid delaying the Liu family’s celebrations, Song Zhaodi headed straight home after shopping.
Song Zhaodi knew Liu Ping didn’t like her, so she didn’t go with Song Laibao. Instead, she stayed in her yard, watching as Liu Ping was taken away by her husband. Only then did she take some money and head next door.
As she reached the entrance of the Liu family’s living room, she heard soft crying and immediately felt like turning back.
“Zhaodi, you’re here?”
Song Laibao’s voice came from inside. Taking a deep breath, Song Zhaodi stepped forward. “Dajie, Aunt, why are you crying?”
“Aunt was just telling me about Liu Ping,” Song Laibao glanced at Aunt Liu and sighed before continuing, “Liu Ping is pregnant.”
Song Zhaodi gasped. “Pregnant?!”
“Yes.” Song Laibao nodded. “Aunt said she’s almost three months along. If they didn’t set the wedding soon, her belly would start showing.”
Leave a Reply