Hearing that, Chu Jiadong froze for a few seconds. He subconsciously glanced at the phone on the table and immediately understood what his eldest son was referring to. A trace of embarrassment appeared on his face as he rubbed his hands uneasily and said in a low voice,
“I was just looking around…”
Chu Jiadong had a habit of checking news about Chu Xiaoyi. He hadn’t expected to be caught red-handed by the person involved, and immediately felt somewhat at a loss.
Chu Xiaoyi was both annoyed and amused.
“You actually go looking for those kinds of posts? I couldn’t tell you were so trendy. You can even search abbreviations?”
Of course, Chu Xiaoyi knew why his father searched for him. It was his father’s way of caring about him. What he hadn’t expected was that Chu Jiadong would directly search for “cxy.”
Ordinary people browsing Weibo usually just looked through a celebrity’s public feed. Only people deeply involved in fandom culture understood the hidden pathways and could trace their way to the gathering places of anti-fans.
Chu Xiaoyi: One move and he’s already an old veteran, even finding the anti-fan ringleaders!
Seeing that his son wasn’t flying into a rage, Chu Jiadong hurriedly added, “No, no. I read both the good and the bad stuff…”
Chu Xiaoyi advised, “Don’t read those posts anymore. You’ll end up in a bad mood.”
Chu Jiadong replied, “I won’t. I have a good mentality. For the ones that are just insults, I ignore them. If there are misunderstandings, I explain a little…”
Chu Xiaoyi laughed helplessly.
“You actually argue with netizens?”
“Don’t worry, I never tell them my real identity!” Chu Jiadong declared confidently. “They don’t understand you, that’s why they misunderstand you. Of course I have to explain. Whether they believe it is their business. Whether I say it is mine.”
For a moment, Chu Xiaoyi was speechless.
He had always thought that his father didn’t understand him at all.
Yet one day, his father was saying, “They don’t understand you.”
Something inside him softened.
For some reason, his father’s behavior seemed both funny and endearing.
Seeing that his eldest son’s mood remained fairly stable, Chu Jiadong said earnestly, “I know you don’t like explaining yourself because you’re still relatively new in your industry. You always think that if you achieve enough, recognition will come naturally. But your efforts take time to pay off. Before that happens, you need to be a little smoother and more tactful, otherwise you’ll suffer a lot.”
“Some people don’t care what you’re capable of doing. They only care about what attitude you display. I’ve watched many of your interviews. Sometimes you’re too serious about things. Being serious means you care. Caring means you’ve already lost.”
Chu Xiaoyi felt as though he had been struck by lightning.
Looking at his father calmly sharing his thoughts, he suddenly remembered He Xin’s advice.
He Xin had always said that he “wouldn’t turn back until he hit a wall.” At work, he was a workaholic willing to risk everything, but when it came to interviews, he was a complete disaster. His communication skills severely dragged down his professional abilities.
Among his peers, Chu Xiaoyi’s acting, singing, and dancing were all considered excellent—although in his sister’s eyes they were merely average.
Yet every time, his own careless remarks would create trouble and give people opportunities to attack him.
In reality, he didn’t have many genuine flaws.
His only major weakness was his high school education.
But nowadays, low-education celebrities were everywhere, so it wasn’t exactly an unforgivable crime.
He Xin worked in the entertainment industry.
Yet Chu Jiadong, a complete outsider, had managed to point out the issue with startling accuracy.
The realization was genuinely surprising.
Chu Xiaoyi asked, “Why do you say that?”
Chu Jiadong smiled.
“I went through a stage like that myself. After graduating from university, I was assigned to a work unit and immediately became one of the managers there. Naturally, other people didn’t like it.”
“At that time, veteran employees could spend years there without becoming managers, while some young kid fresh out of school suddenly parachuted in as a leader. Who would feel good about that?”
“You can’t confront people like that head-on. There are always people who can’t climb up themselves and want to drag others down with them. Even if people say you’re unworthy of your position, it’s enough to smile and let it pass on the surface. Privately, focus on doing what you’re supposed to do. Sometimes you can even retreat in order to advance and let future generations judge whether you were good or bad.”
Chu Jiadong belonged to a generation that had lived through many historical periods.
His generation had experienced turmoil and prosperity alike. Their understanding of the world had been reshaped multiple times, making them fundamentally different from today’s Chu Xiaoyi and Chu Xiaoxiao.
Back then, the older workers in his unit looked at the newly graduated Chu Jiadong and thought he was just a brat who had studied for a few years before becoming a manager. They didn’t take him seriously at all.
When he first started working, he genuinely didn’t understand the workplace situation immediately.
Not only were many of his subordinates older than him, they often had more practical experience as well. The only thing they lacked compared to him was formal education.
Chu Jiadong couldn’t afford to offend those old veterans.
Instead, he had to politely seek advice from them.
Of course, he soon surpassed all of them.
On the surface, he appeared honest and mild-tempered.
In reality, he was like a duck swimming—calm above the water while paddling furiously underneath, eventually leaving everyone else far behind.
In those days, nobody could clearly say whether experience or education mattered more.
Chu Jiadong had worked in a state unit and later resigned to start his own company. He had taken many risks at crucial moments in history and faced all kinds of criticism along the way, accumulating valuable lessons paid for in blood and tears.
It was the first time Chu Xiaoyi had ever heard his father share life experiences.
An indescribably strange feeling arose in his heart.
It seemed that he had never truly had a proper conversation with his father before.
Unable to stop himself, he said, “But they always say a lot of terrible things…”
Unable to properly describe “online abuse,” he could only use a relatively mild expression.
Chu Jiadong replied, “That’s normal. They’re deliberately trying to disgust you. My old work unit still can’t fire people even now. Even if something bothers you, you have to endure it because you’ll keep seeing the same people every day.”
“You’re dealing with comments online. Back then, people said those things directly to your face!”
A thoughtful expression appeared on Chu Xiaoyi’s face.
He had never heard about his father’s difficulties or experiences before.
Chu Jiadong never shared his troubles from the outside world with his children. He simply worked quietly to support the family.
He was a traditional and typical father.
His way of expressing love was simple.
As long as he earned money and gave his family a good life, he felt that was enough.
The concept of communication had never really existed for him.
“Of course, there are some things worth listening to as well…”
After hesitating for a long time, Chu Jiadong finally said quietly, “Xiaoyi… how about you go to college after all?”
Of course he had seen anti-fans attacking Chu Xiaoyi’s educational background.
It was also a knot in his heart that had remained for many years.
All the warmth and tenderness that had just filled Chu Xiaoyi’s heart was instantly smashed to pieces by that single sentence.
Suppressing the irritation rising inside him, and unwilling to ruin the harmonious atmosphere, he replied in a muffled voice, “Let’s not. It wouldn’t really help me much anyway.”
Chu Jiadong had yet to notice the change in his eldest son’s expression. He said, “How would it not matter? I see plenty of celebrities going to film academies. Their arts entrance exams even make the trending topics.”
Chu Jiadong wasn’t asking for his eldest son to earn an especially high degree. He simply felt that he ought to have some university experience, even if it was at an arts college.
Chu Xiaoyi was becoming increasingly agitated.
“Those people got in straight out of high school. I’m already twenty-three. What university am I supposed to take now?”
He genuinely couldn’t understand his father’s obsession with education.
Some child stars liked to flaunt their arts exam scores, yet many of them rarely attended class after enrolling and spent most of their time filming and working outside school.
If that was the case, why did he absolutely need a university diploma?
Chu Xiaoyi could already imagine how brutally the internet anti-fans would mock him if he went back to take university entrance exams.
It would be utterly laughable.
Chu Jiadong frowned slightly.
“What’s wrong with being twenty-three? You’re still so young. Some people take university entrance exams in their thirties or forties!”
Chu Xiaoyi could no longer remain seated.
He abruptly stood up and started heading toward his room.
In a cold voice, he said, “I’m not taking them. Whoever wants to take them can go ahead.”
Chu Jiadong replied, “I’m really doing this for your own good. If you had a—”
Chu Xiaoyi had already taken several steps away.
But those words completely ignited him.
Turning around, he snapped angrily, “You’re not doing it for my own good. You’re embarrassed! You’re the one who’s always cared about this!”
Chu Jiadong became angry as well.
“Who says that!?”
Chu Xiaoyi retorted furiously, “If you were doing it for my own good, why didn’t you say this back then? If you were doing it for my own good, why didn’t you agree when I was filling out my college applications? If you were doing it for my own good, would you have had a child without even discussing—”
His gaze suddenly landed on the little thing sitting in the corner.
Chu Xiaoxiao had removed one side of her headphones and was looking at them with surprise and confusion, clearly unaware of what was happening.
Taking a deep breath, Chu Xiaoyi didn’t want to leave psychological scars on his young sister.
He forcibly swallowed the rest of his words, struggled to calm his chaotic emotions, and decided to turn around and leave.
But Chu Jiadong stopped him.
Grinding his teeth, he said, “The past is the past. The present is the present…”
Chu Xiaoyi let out a mocking laugh.
“Because now you know I won’t choose the major you picked, so you’ve conveniently taken a step back and decided that any degree is fine? Don’t you think that’s ridiculous?”
“I don’t mean that!”
As the father and son revisited a conflict from years ago, both gradually became more heated, openly snapping at one another.
Chu Xiaoxiao had absolutely no idea where the idiot father and son had found so much anger.
She had merely been watching a foreign-language video.
One moment they had been talking normally, and the next they were arguing like mortal enemies on a battlefield.
“Stop arguing—!”
The little girl’s childish voice shattered the tense atmosphere.
“Quiet!”
The father and son both calmed down slightly.
When Chu Xiaoyi turned his head, he saw that Chu Xiaoxiao had climbed onto the sofa.
Standing there with her hands on her hips, she was clearly furious as well.
In a loud voice, she declared, “If you behaved like this in kindergarten, the teachers would make you leave within two days! You don’t know how to talk properly, you just know how to yell louder than everyone else!?”
Chu Xiaoxiao herself rarely spoke at such a volume.
She was trying her best to look stern and imposing.
Unfortunately, even standing on the sofa, she still wasn’t as tall as either of them.
Instead, she looked like a serious little dwarf.
Looking at the puffed-up little glutinous rice ball standing on the sofa, both Chu Xiaoyi and Chu Jiadong immediately lost the will to continue being angry.
They fell silent together.
In the study, Xiao Bi heard the sounds of the argument and hurried over.
Frowning, she asked, “What happened?”
Chu Xiaoxiao immediately lodged a complaint.
“Mom, I want to buy a loudspeaker too and buzz noisily in their ears!”
The moment she finished speaking, she began coughing.
She had shouted too loudly just now, and her throat was now uncomfortable. She coughed so hard that tears nearly appeared in her eyes.
Chu Jiadong immediately panicked.
He hurriedly poured her a cup of warm water and urged her to drink it.
“Xiaoyi, come with me.”
Xiao Bi called to her eldest son.
Then she met Chu Jiadong’s gaze and said flatly, “You stay right there.”
Chu Xiaoxiao and Chu Jiadong remained in the living room.
Chu Xiaoyi followed his mother into the study.
After indicating that he should close the door behind him, Xiao Bi calmly said,
“Tell me. Why were you arguing just now?”
Hearing the familiar opening line, Chu Xiaoyi’s memories instantly jumped back to childhood.
Every time he argued with his father, his mother would always speak with him alone afterward and try to understand what he was really thinking.
Sometimes Xiao Bi would patiently reason with Chu Jiadong.
Sometimes she would fiercely confront him.
Many of their conflicts and disputes had revolved around Chu Xiaoyi.
Chu Xiaoyi remembered one occasion after he had been beaten.
His usually gentle and refined mother had lunged at his father.
In a shrill voice, she shouted, “Chu Jiadong, are we even going to live like this anymore!? Are we or aren’t we!?”
At the time, her face had been red with rage.
She had looked ready to tear Chu Jiadong apart.
From that day onward, Chu Jiadong had never hit Chu Xiaoyi again.
Lowering his eyes, Chu Xiaoyi said, “It’s nothing…”
He had always been weaker when facing his mother.
After all, she had never really done anything wrong.
More often than not, she had simply been trapped between father and son, unwillingly dragged into their conflicts.
When Xiao Bi lived alone with Chu Jiadong, they had no conflicts.
When Xiao Bi lived alone with Chu Xiaoyi, they had no conflicts either.
Yet whenever all three were together, war inevitably broke out.
Xiao Bi spoke unhurriedly.
“I can guess what you were arguing about. If it’s about your university application back then, you already said when you left home that as long as we stopped interfering in your life, all the old debts would be settled.
“I can’t control your father’s desire to make up for the past, but I truly did what you asked.”
When Chu Xiaoyi left home, he had desperately wanted to escape what he saw as a family prison and live independently.
In the end, Xiao Bi had agreed.
She had even given him a sum of money—the New Year’s gift money he had accumulated over many years.
Xiao Bi continued, “I asked whether you wanted to repeat your final year of high school. You refused me then as well. I genuinely don’t know what else I could have done for you.”
Chu Xiaoyi lowered his head somewhat ashamedly and listened to his mother without saying a word. He really had said that he wouldn’t dwell on the past, treating the moment he left home as a brand-new beginning. Digging up old grievances now was indeed meaningless.
“If this is about Xiaoxiao, then it’s true that we didn’t discuss it with you beforehand, and we’re very sorry for that.” Xiao Bi explained, “A few years ago, I had some health issues and went to the hospital to have my IUD removed, but I didn’t expect to become pregnant with Xiaoxiao.”
Chu Xiaoyi stared at his mother in surprise. He hadn’t even known she had undergone surgery, and his sense of guilt deepened. He had deliberately avoided news from home for so long that he had even neglected his mother’s health.
In truth, Xiao Bi had never planned on having a second child. After giving birth to Chu Xiaoyi, doctors had implied that she might never have another child. At the time, family planning was still strongly encouraged, so Xiao Bi had felt no particular regret and simply accepted it as fate. Perhaps the arrival of her younger daughter was also a matter of fate. No one had expected such a situation, and Xiaoxiao had been extremely healthy in the womb.
“At the time, you were filming a variety show under closed production, and we couldn’t get in touch with you. There really wasn’t any way. Your father originally didn’t want to keep Xiaoxiao. He had completely lost confidence in himself as a father and always felt that he wasn’t capable of doing the job well…” Xiao Bi paused for several seconds before confessing, “I was the one who decided to give birth to Xiaoxiao. I wanted to save your father, and I wanted to save myself too. I’m truly sorry.”
During the first two years after Chu Xiaoyi left home, the family hadn’t been doing well either. Their home had been like an ice cave devoid of life.
Chu Jiadong’s confidence had been shattered overnight. He sank into endless guilt and self-reproach, without even having a chance to atone.
On the surface, Xiao Bi remained relatively composed, but in reality she was on the verge of collapse herself, with no idea where to go from there.
Chu Xiaoyi had left the family without looking back, but Xiao Bi and Chu Jiadong remained trapped beneath the shadow of the past, unable to emerge from it.
Xiao Bi truly couldn’t endure that dead-end existence any longer, which was why she decided to accept the unexpected arrival of Chu Xiaoxiao. Without some kind of turning point, she might not have been able to hold on either. After all, how much worse could things possibly get?
A trace of sorrow welled up in Chu Xiaoyi’s heart. Bitterly, he said, “Mom, you don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should apologize to you…”
In front of his mother, Chu Xiaoyi felt utterly ashamed of himself. What right did he have to blame Xiao Bi? She had already done everything a mother could possibly do.
While Chu Jiadong was out earning money, Xiao Bi not only taught at school but also returned home to do housework and care for the young Chu Xiaoyi.
Ignoring Chu Jiadong’s objections, she listened to her eldest son’s thoughts and sent him to music classes.
She had never criticized his academic performance. She only told him to think carefully about the choices he would make in the future.
She had even helped persuade Chu Jiadong on his behalf.
What more could Chu Xiaoyi possibly ask of her?
Ask her to divorce his father?
Chu Xiaoyi was convinced that if he had never existed, perhaps his parents would never even have argued.
He was the starting point of their conflicts.
He was the source of their aging.
He was the destabilizing factor in the family.
Unlike his younger sister, he possessed no extraordinary talents, nor did he have her thoughtfulness and understanding.
He was merely a disaster that brought quarrels and strife into the household.
Children have no way to choose their parents, and parents have no way to choose their children.
If Chu Xiaoyi were a parent now, wouldn’t he also prefer a child like his sister?
She wouldn’t constantly stir up trouble.
She would always be obedient and lovable.
And she possessed a far brighter future and greater prospects.
Xiao Bi looked at the pained expression on her eldest son’s face. She felt miserable as well, but still voiced a trace of grievance.
“Xiaoyi, back then you said your father only knew how to make money and never looked back at the family. But what are you doing now?”
“Why have you always been unwilling to look back at us?”
For five years, Chu Xiaoyi had refused to come home. If Xiao Bi claimed that she didn’t care at all, that would be impossible.
Even now, she didn’t know what she had done wrong to end up where they were today.
Chu Jiadong might indeed owe something to his son, but she had truly given everything she had, and yet she still found herself completely lost.
She was a mother, but she was also a person, with emotions of her own.
She could not remain standing in the same place forever, living solely for her son.
Chu Xiaoyi felt as though he had been struck over the head.
He had always wanted to achieve success and prove himself to his parents, yet he had forgotten what he had originally wished for.
What he had wanted was never for his father to earn a lot of money.
He had only hoped that his father would come home more often and communicate with him properly.
He had disliked the way his father used to do things.
Yet now he was walking the very same path.
The fierce conflict finally came to an end inside the study.
Chu Xiaoxiao didn’t know what her mother and brother had talked about, but after they came out of the room, both of them seemed somewhat sad.
Looking at the blue color of her brother’s emotions, Chu Xiaoxiao felt as though she understood its meaning for the first time.
It wasn’t merely resistance toward her.
In truth, it was resistance toward everything in the family.
He had no way to properly integrate himself into the family.
All he could do was reject and resist everything, even himself.
It was a sorrowful color like the sea.
He drifted alone upon it, floating back and forth, clumsily unable to find his way to shore.
The next two days passed peacefully.
None of the adults brought up that day’s conflict again.
Perhaps they wanted to create a healthy family atmosphere in front of Chu Xiaoxiao.
Chu Xiaoyi’s vacation finally came to an end, and he had to return to work.
At the front door, he said goodbye to his parents.
After hesitating for a long time, Chu Jiadong finally said, “If anything happens, call home.”
Even though Chu Xiaoyi rarely contacted the family on his own initiative, Chu Jiadong said those words every time.
Chu Xiaoyi didn’t know how to respond.
In the end, he could only hug his parents, using that gesture to avoid the topic.
Then he looked at the little thing hiding behind his father’s leg and smiled helplessly.
“Aren’t you going to do anything?”
Chu Xiaoxiao silently stared at him.
Chu Xiaoyi didn’t force her to hug him and simply waved goodbye to his family with a smile.
Watching her brother leave, Chu Xiaoxiao suddenly rushed out of the house, startling her mother.
“Xiaoxiao!”
In the residential complex, Chu Xiaoxiao caught up to Chu Xiaoyi and asked in a clear voice,
“Will you come back?”
His emotions were currently too complicated for her to interpret immediately.
But she had a feeling that if she let him leave now, he might never come home again.
Chu Xiaoyi hadn’t expected her to run after him.
He froze for a few seconds before speaking hoarsely,
“Can I still come back?”
This was the confusion that had plagued Chu Xiaoyi in recent days.
He didn’t know how his existence benefited the family at all.
Even his work sometimes brought criticism onto his family.
Occasionally, he thought how wonderful it would have been if Chu Xiaoxiao had been the first child.
Perhaps then his parents would never have had to worry so much and could naturally have enjoyed an ordinary happiness.
Chu Xiaoxiao fell silent for several seconds.
Lowering her eyes uneasily, she said worriedly, “But you’re so dumb. Where else could you go?”
Chu Xiaoyi’s heart softened.
Suddenly remembering something, he pulled out a familiar red envelope from his bag.
“I almost forgot something…”
“Your brother actually earns quite a lot of money outside. It’s not like I need you to give me red envelopes.”
Handing the envelope to Chu Xiaoxiao, he smiled.
“Happy Spring Festival.”
Chu Xiaoxiao accepted the red envelope.
She discovered that the money inside had suddenly multiplied several times over.
A deeply complicated expression appeared on her face.
Trying to return it, she said seriously,
“Stop talking nonsense!”
Chu Xiaoyi stared at her unexpected reaction.
“?”
“…No, I’m not talking nonsense?”
Chu Xiaoxiao replied,
“Stop bragging out of vanity. Can’t you live more simply?”
She truly didn’t understand why her bargain-bin brother cared so much about saving face.
Even when leaving home, he insisted on pretending to be richer than he was.
It reminded her of the expensive grapes he had bought.
Chu Xiaoyi: “…”
So these days, nobody believes me when I tell the truth?
Exasperated, Chu Xiaoyi stuffed the red envelope back into her arms and pushed his suitcase as he headed off to meet He Xin.
“Alright, alright, stop making me angry…”
Seeing that he was about to leave, Chu Xiaoxiao repeated,
“Will you come back?”
Her eyes shone brightly, as though waiting for a promise.
For a moment, Chu Xiaoyi didn’t know how to answer.
After hesitating for a long time, he proposed, “If you think about me every day, then I can try my best to come back more often?”
Chu Xiaoyi: If my little sister acts spoiled and insists that I come home, then I can reluctantly agree.
“…”
Chu Xiaoxiao sank into deep thought, as though weighing the feasibility of the proposal.
A moment later, she waved goodbye to her bargain-bin brother.
Without mentioning the idea again, she calmly said, “Goodbye!”
Chu Xiaoyi: “???”
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