Around midwinter, there was a heavy snowfall.
Snow-like goose feathers floated and fell for several days, and the common people of the capital were worried that it would turn into a calamity. But one day, the sky suddenly cleared.
A layer of snow was still lying on the yellow-glazed roof tile of the imperial palace, but the corridors and paths in the palace had already been cleared, cleaned and dried. As the saying went, melting snow was colder than falling snow. Although it was the coldest time of the year, the palace maids and the taijian were beaming with delight, bustling about.
It was Empress Dowager Yi’an’s birthday.
The empress dowager had said that it wasn’t appropriate to celebrate when it hadn’t even been a year since the late emperor’s passing. But the emperor was benevolent and filial; he ordered the empress to only choose women with a third-rank title and above along with imperial relatives to go to Cining Palace and congratulate the empress dowager.
The Cining Palace had completely transformed from its usual tranquillity.
As a part of the opera performance in the back garden, the gongs and drums beat noisily. The empress dowager wasn’t really fond of such noisy plays. But a palace maid by her said persuaded her saying that all the elders in families outside the palace celebrated their birthdays in this manner, and that this was the emperor and empress’ intention. The empress dowager also knew that the imperial couple wanted to make her happy, so she let it be.
The lively day continued, and the empress dowager watched the performance until afternoon. She soon became tired and returned to the palace hall to lie down and rest.
Empress Dowager Yi’an wore a yellow dragon-phoenix gown with gold thread embroidery. The phoenix crown and other jewellery on her head were all removed. Tired, she lay down on the guifei chaise lounge, placed her head on the pillow and closed her eyes.
The palace maid knelt by the bed and gently beat her legs with her fists. Only when she sensed no movement from above did she cautiously raise her head and looked up.
Looking at the empress dowager now, who could guess that she had grandchildren who were already in the year of dancing spoon[mfn]13-15-year-old boys[/mfn]? The empress dowager must have some method to maintain a youthful appearance. Before xiandi passed away, he was already approaching old age, but the empress dowager was still favoured by time. She was not even ten years younger than xiandi but she looked like she could be sisters with the current empress.
Maybe only a woman like this could be doted on by the emperor and could be the lord of the six palaces. In the end, not only did her son become emperor but she too became the most respected woman in the empire.
The sounds from the play could still be heard faintly. The lead singer’s melodious and meandering lyrics —
“The garden, desolate for years, is full of blooming flowers.
Spring confined in the doleful unattended garden keeps waiting for yet no one comes to appreciate it.
How could I fully relish the enchanting sight on a fine day after knowing this?
Whose home has such cheerful scenery?
In the morning and in the evening,
In the clouds and the green porch,
In the rain, in the wind, and in the mist.
I cannot bear to see the prime of my youth wasted.”
The Empress Dowager suddenly remembered her childhood.
At that time, she hadn’t crossed the marriageable age. She was still immature and tender, young and naive, like an unripe green plum. In the misty, hazy Jiangnan, she was an ignorant girl who didn’t know what the future held for her. Who could have guessed that she would someday have such good fortune?
Originally, she was just a thin horse from a common family. By destined coincidence, she was bought by Chen jia’s son-in-law and taken to the capital, then again carried into the east palace to solidify the favour of the crown princess from Chen jia.
During that time, she experienced many trials and tribulations. She, who was originally innocent and naive, was forced by this oppressive harem to become a woman with a deep and profound mind.
In the first half of her life, she was silent in xiandi’s harem. Apart from giving birth to the third prince, she was truly unremarkable in this harem with many beautiful flowers. It wasn’t until she was nearly forty that she sacrificed everything and gave it her all to fight for herself and her descendants.
Fortunately, she ended up becoming the biggest winner. After xiandi’s funeral, all his concubines were moved to Shoukang palace. Only she, with the title of huang guifei, took the seat of empress dowager and entered the Cining Palace, receiving the whole world’s respect. After her passing, she would also be buried with xiandi.
Who wouldn’t say that she was blessed? Even Empress Dowager Yi’an felt that she had great luck.
Luck?
In this palace, the most despised thing was luck.
If you have luck, you could move around for a while but not for a lifetime. Everyone thought she would be happy when she became the empress dowager. She also felt that she should be happy. But she always recalled the scene when before xiandi’s death.
He was older than her by ten years. She had a method to maintain her youthful appearance. He didn’t say anything out loud, but he was always secretly summoning the imperial physician to find ways to maintain good health.
Even so, he walked before her.
Before leaving, he held her hand. Although he didn’t say anything, his eyes were filled with helplessness and disappointment.
“Zhen is waiting for you at the imperial mausoleum…”
She rested her head on his hand, her tears falling on his palm; but in her heart, she was at a loss. As a woman in this deep palace, acting had become her instinct. She couldn’t tell why her tears were flowing.
She knew that after her death, it was determined that she would be buried with him. Even the former empress didn’t have this glory. He had already spoken to her about this. The place beside him was given to her.
After his death, for a full two months, she couldn’t eat or sleep well. Then, she thought about it again. Wasn’t this good? She didn’t need to cautiously fawn at him for favour. She didn’t need to be afraid of the emperor’s unfathomable mind. She didn’t need to be worried about any other prince pressing on top of her son’s head.
She wasn’t actually greedy for that position, but after fighting for so many years, she had to win, otherwise she, her children and grandchildren would die. So she could only win and not lose.
She won. She became the empress dowager — the person above ten thousand people. It was right for her to be happy.
——
She was happy!
——
“Niangniang, empress dowager niangniang,”
Empress Dowager Yi’an opened her eyes and saw her trusted servant, Qian momo’s face.
“What is going on? How long has aijia slept?”
Qian momo whispered, “Niangniang hasn’t slept for very long, nubi has something to report.”
The empress dowager knit her brows. She knew that Qian momo didn’t have a reckless temperament of speaking without thinking. There must be some matter, but it was definitely unpleasant being awoken from a good dream.
“The taijian guarding the cold palace came to inform that the commoner Chen shi is dead.”
“Dead?” The empress dowager stared blankly. But soon, she became calm again. “If she’s dead, she’s dead. She wasn’t young. She could really endure.”
The empress dowager sighed.
Qian momo looked at her expression and said, agreeing, “It isn’t that she could endure. During xiandi’s funeral, it seemed like she couldn’t hang on and she had been continuing that way. It is your benevolence to keep sending precious medicinal ingredients to lenggong without asking for payment. But she still said that you had malicious intentions. She didn’t realise that if you hadn’t pleaded for leniency back then, she would have already died with the rebellious prince, so she could quietly continue living for so many years.”
“The person died like a lamp that was extinguished. You mustn’t speak about her badly when she has just passed. Instruct the slaves to bury her with the rules and regulations of an imperial concubine. This can also be considered fulfilling our friendship in those years.”
Friendship?
The empress dowager silently pondered over the term, feeling ironic but also melancholic. As for Qian momo agreeing, she didn’t hear it at all.
Look, her greatest adversary also died. She ought to be happy.
The empress dowager fell asleep again and singing from the opera continued in her dreams —
最撩人春色是今年，
少甚么低就高来粉画垣，
原来春心无处不飞悬。
是睡荼蘼抓住裙钗线，
恰便是花似人心向好处牵。
Pan’er was ‘married’.
Sold for 1800 taels of silver.
One must know that even the most top-notch Yangzhou thin horses were sold for just a thousand taels. One thousand eight hundred taels was undoubtedly a high price. The past few days, ‘mother’ had been grinning from ear to ear. The mother from her family was also very happy.
It was no wonder that they were so happy. There had always been a ‘rule’ in Yangzhou; some poor families that couldn’t afford to raise daughters could send them to another’s house to ‘foster’.
Usually, it was a buying and selling transaction. But on the surface, it was called adoption. It was just to preserve everyone’s face.
But Pan’er’s situation was different from that of ordinary people. Her biological parents and the adoptive family which raised thin horses were relatives. At that time, Pan’er’s mother didn’t really want to sell her daughter. But since there was really no rice to cook at home, she exchanged her daughter for a few pieces of silver.
She had said that when she had more money on hand, she would come and redeem her. Unexpectedly, they had never been able to gather enough money and Pan’er continued to be raised there. Along with the sisters who had been fostered there, she learned the rules and the four arts of zither, Go, calligraphy and painting, and she learned them well.
A few days ago, a wealthy master came to choose a thin horse. He didn’t choose the sisters who were carefully nurtured by their ‘mother’ but he took a fancy to Pan’er, who had joined halfway.
The ‘mother’ knew that Pan’er was good-looking. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have fostered her at home. She knew that her cousin-in-law was tough to deal with and she didn’t know if this matter was possible. So she thought she might as well quote a high price.
One thousand eight hundred taels.
Unexpectedly, the other party actually agreed.
This time, ‘mother’ was dizzy. The family’s mother was also dizzy. After talking it over, they thought they might as well sell the daughter and split the money equally.
Of course it wouldn’t be split equally.
As a matter of fact, there was a terrible commotion in the ‘house’ these past two days. Pan’er’s mother repeatedly visited and quarrelled with ‘mother’ several times. But when facing Pan’er they were all beaming with delight.
A while later, the two came to an unknown agreement. Her mother came to Pan’er and said that she shouldn’t blame her. The family was too poor. Pan’er’s second brother hadn’t married a wife yet and he couldn’t continue living as a bachelor. Her eldest brother had several children to feed and they had to experience a famine every year.
She also said that being bought by a rich master as a concubine was better than marrying a poor man as a wife; it was simply falling into a nest of blessings and being showered by heavenly flowers. She also promised to keep fifty taels in her bag, then hugged her and cried for half a day. In the end, Pan’er nodded.
The next day, her mother happily took the silver and left. Before leaving, she stuffed Pan’er with fifty taels.
Actually, Pan’er knew that her mother had lied. If she really cared about her, she would keep her here and not let her return. Since she had already been sold for the silver, she was afraid of her reputation being ruined if others knew about it.
But with those hundreds of taels in her hand, presumably, this reputation could also be lost.
But so what if she knew? It was still better than tearing face and being sold to a brother one day. There were sisters at ‘home’ who hadn’t been chosen for several and were finally sold to brothels. She heard other sisters say that they were ruined for life.
So if she had to be a concubine, she would be a concubine, although that rich master looked a bit fat and silly.
In this way, Pan’er left Suzhou right away, sitting in a boat which was speeding towards the capital.
On the way, the rich master who was a salt merchant didn’t treat her badly. She neither lacked food to eat nor clothes to wear. He also sent two girls to serve her. But the way he looked at her was strange. Pan’er was timid, she couldn’t explain it but she was frightened anyway. So she stayed in her room for most of the ride.
Whether because of the fright or something else, Pan’er, this girl who had been raised on the seaside, became seasick. She vomited till she fainted and her head became muddled. In just a few days, she became so weak that she could only lie down on the bed and couldn’t get up.
“Guniang, nubi will serve you to drink the medicine.”
A thin girl entered carrying the medicine bowl. She was wearing a green bijia. She looked malnourished and sickly and her clothes were ill-fitting. Standing in front of her bed was another girl who was as thin as her, but had a smaller face. She was bony and had a small round face with big, round eyes, looking extremely innocent.
The two girls were around twelve or thirteen years old. They barely had any strength, so they could only work together to support Pan’er to sit up. Then one girl propped her up and the other served her to drink the medicine.
It was obvious that the two were inexperienced in serving. Half the medicine in the bowl had trickled down her chin. Fortunately, Pan’er had spread out a handkerchief on herself so the medicine wouldn’t spill on her body.
Pan’er sighed. “Ai… I’ll drink it myself.”
Luckily, these two girls were confused and ignorant. In the few days since she woke up, they hadn’t noticed any changes in her.
Yes, Pan’er’s core had changed.
Although Pan’er was still Pan’er, she was also Empress Dowager Yi’an.
But the present Pan’er was just a thin horse bought by someone. She hadn’t arrived at Chen jia yet and she hadn’t yet been sent to donggong by Chen jia to help the di daughter qi guniang, currently the crown princess, to solidify the latter’s favour. Naturally, she hadn’t yet given birth to the third and sixteenth prince, and hadn’t become the favoured Li huang guifei in the imperial harem, and hadn’t yet become the empress dowager after her son’s ascension.
A quarter of an hour ago, Empress Dowager Yi’an slept in the Cining Palace. It was her birthday. The emperor was kind and filial and congratulated her with the rare treasures of the world.
Seeing the loving affection of her son and daughter-in-law, the deep feelings between the brothers, and the tranquility of the harem, Empress Dowager Yi’an was perfectly content. She also felt that her life and come to a perfect completion. She couldn’t think of any regrets she had either.
Who could have thought that when she opened her eyes, she returned to when she was fifteen years old, on the way to the capital to be delivered to Chen jia?
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